I dream a highway back to you
by aurghhh
Summary: Emily and Maya spend an afternoon together before Emily leaves for Haiti. (It's a bit sad, sorry.)


**A/N: **This is my first Emaya story, written a while back. Sorry it's a bit of a downer, but I'll try to do a happier one at some point.

The title and the song lyric at the end are from a Gillian Welch song "I Dream a Highway".

* * *

><p>"So when are you leaving?" Maya eagerly asks.<p>

"Friday," Emily replies. "I've completed the training, got my vaccinations up to date, my paperwork's all in order, everything's ready."

"Wow," Maya says. "This is such a wonderful thing to be doing."

Emily loves that look on Maya's face. After all Maya has done for her, to help Emily become who she is, it still surprises Emily to see Maya looking at her like this, her face filled with warmth and pride.

"I'm not just being altruistic," Emily says. For some reason she feels she needs to confess this. "After everything that's happened here, I just want to get out of Rosewood for a while."

"That's OK," Maya says, then takes Emily's hand. "You are still an amazingly generous person. Most people when they want to get away from things would just go somewhere with a beach. You're doing volunteer work because you want to help people."

"I suppose so," Emily says. She doesn't feel very generous. It's just her way of coping.

"You shouldn't downplay something like this," Maya insists, her voice somehow stern but playful at the same time. "You are doing something good for the world. You should be proud."

"Maybe," Emily responds.

"You have to admit it," Maya insists.

"Admit what?" Emily asks.

"Admit you are doing something good, and that you are a generous, caring person," Maya answers.

Emily is unsure why Maya is so determined to make her say this, but she knows she can't resist that smile.

"I'm doing something good," Emily says. "Are you happy now?"

"Maybe," Maya responds. "I'll be happy when you really believe it."

"If I'm so good, why is all this happening?" Emily asks.

Maya loses her playful smile now. She thinks for a moment then shrugs her shoulders.

"Sometimes… life hurts," she eventually replies. "It's unfair, but you can still hold onto who you are inside. You can still be the Emily I fell in love with, even when I'm not here."

"I'm going to miss you, Maya," Emily says. "I'm going to miss you so much."

"I know," Maya says, quietly and reassuringly. "But it won't be forever."

Emily isn't convinced.

"Hey," Maya says. "Why don't we go for a walk?"

Emily nods and slowly rises from where she is sitting. She leaves her room and proceeds down the stairs.

Her mother is in the kitchen.

"Where are you going?" Pam asks.

"Just for a walk," Emily replies.

"When will you be back?" Pam calls after her, but Emily is already out the door.

"I'm sorry about everything with your mom," Maya says once they are out on the street.

"It's OK," Emily assures her.

"I shouldn't have been so hard on her," Maya adds.

"It doesn't matter now," Emily says.

They walk down the street together, just walking, not following any particular path.

"You've got great parents," Maya says. "They care about you."

"They do," Emily agrees.

"How do they feel about you going away?" Maya asks.

"They've got mixed feelings, I suppose," Emily replies. "I'm sure they'd rather I stayed home, but dad checked it all out in detail, and if he thinks it looks safe and well organized then it must be up to scratch."

Maya laughs a little.

"Well, he would know," she says.

"Yeah," Emily agrees. "Though I did have to remind him a couple of times that it's a volunteer organization, not the military."

"Still, it's good to have the Papa Fields tick of approval," Maya says. "I bet they're proud of you too."

"Yes," Emily admits, feeling somewhat embarrassed now. "They did say that once or twice."

"They understand?" Maya asks.

"They do," Emily agrees. "They know I need to get away from here after… everything."

Emily feels confused for a moment, like she is feeling an emotion left over from a dream. Why is she so sad? Why does she need to get away from Rosewood? It must be Mona, but that's all over now…

"I know it's… confusing," Maya says, interrupting Emily's chain of thought. "Just try to let it go. We don't have very long."

Emily knows Maya is right.

Emily realizes she has been walking the streets of Rosewood with no plan, no direction. She looks up and sees they have come in a circle, and are now returning to Emily's house.

As they approach the corner, like they have done so often before, Emily starts to feel nauseous. Her legs go weak as she remembers the scene, the flashing lights, the police, the ambulance…

Emily feels the ground beneath her swaying. Maya grabs hold of her to stop her from falling.

"I'm sorry," Maya says. "We shouldn't have come this way."

Emily desperately clings on to Maya until it passes, but in that moment of comfort she wants more than the strength to stand on her own. She wants to be able to grab the future and wrench it away from its path, dragging it to here, now, where the two of them are together.

"Are you OK?" Maya asks.

"No," Emily answers, though she has gained her footing again. Maya gently rubs her back.

"Let's go somewhere else," Maya suggests.

The turn and head off in another direction. Emily feels the streets should be more familiar to her, but everything has changed now.

"How are the others?" Maya asks.

"Others?" Emily responds, confused for a moment.

"Your friends," Maya explains. "Hanna, Spencer and Aria."

"Oh, they're doing well," Emily replies. "Very well, considering everything that's happened."

"It must have been hard," Maya says.

"It was," Emily agrees. "Especially for Hanna. But they've been so supportive. I've been a mess."

"You've been through something awful," Maya reminds her. "It takes time to get your life back together."

"I know," Emily says. "They've been… they've been amazing, they really have. They're such good friends. But they don't understand, they can't understand what it's like. Only you can."

Maya takes Emily's hand as they walk. Emily is starting to cry now, as she realizes how much Maya means to her now, how much she needs Maya to get her through this.

"I see them sometimes," Emily continues, "just looking at me, not knowing what to say. I wonder what they're thinking. I mean, they're probably wondering when the old Emily will come back, but… I don't think she's coming back, Maya, I really don't."

"You are still Emily, OK?" Maya counters. "After everything you've been through, you are still the kind, loving and beautiful girl you were when we first met."

This just makes the tears flow harder, but she also smiles at Maya's sweet words.

They arrive at the park now. Maya leads Emily by the hand to a quiet corner where they sit in the shade of an old tree.

It is still and peaceful now. There is no one else around. Maya takes Emily's hands in her own and looks into Emily's eyes.

"If I could take the hurt away for you I would," Maya says.

"I still… I still expect to see you," Emily says, quietly. "When my phone rings, I think 'I wonder if that's Maya', and just for a moment I feel happy, my heart leaps… and then I remember."

Maya listens silently.

Emily can feel the other girl's love for her, but her own body is tensing again. The tears now are coming in hard, bitter sobs that make her body jerk. Her face is contorted, but she no longer cares.

Maya puts her arm around Emily's shoulders. Emily leans on her and lets herself go.

"I'm so sorry I can't stay," Maya whispers.

"I don't understand," Emily says, her words fighting through the tears. "I put on the scarf the other day. I sat and looked in the mirror, and I didn't know… why… why you couldn't just be here."

"I'm sorry," Maya says, but Emily knows there is nothing either of them can do.

"I don't know how I'll make it," Emily says.

"You will, because you're Emily Fields," Maya responds firmly. "You are strong, and compassionate, and you have an amazing, loving heart."

As Emily leans into the warmth and comfort of Maya's arms, this moment, the two of them together, starts to feel like an ending, and a parting.

She turns over in her mind the pictures she had of the future, the dreams she had for her life. As she does, she sees how many of them had Maya there at her side. She realizes she is not just losing Maya, she is losing a future that she had imagined for them, even if she hadn't admitted to it.

But even as these dreams fade away, she understands something else. Being with Maya has changed her, and however much grief she has to go through she will still have that trace of Maya running like a thread through her life.

"Thank you," Emily says, her voice fragile and broken. "For everything you've done for me. I will never forget you. I love you, Maya."

"I love you too, Emily," Maya says, formally and somberly, but her voice still filled with love. "Thank you, and goodbye."

"I… I don't think I'm ready," Emily pleads. "Please…"

"Remember what I said, " Maya replies. "I care about you, so I'll wait."

Emily nods, as the tears overtake her. She wipes them from her face, but more come.

"Goodbye Maya," she whispers.

The park is quiet now. It is a beautiful afternoon. The sunshine, the trees, the life around her. It all seems strange somehow, as though the world around her has forgotten that Maya is gone, even though she can't.

Somewhere a radio is playing though, and a song floats through the air to where she is sitting.

_"Oh I dream a highway back to you love_  
><em>A winding ribbon with a band of gold<em>  
><em>A silver vision come and rest my soul<em>  
><em>I dream a highway back to you"<em>

As hard as the tears are to overcome, eventually they stop. Emily knows she must keep going. She picks herself up of the grass and sets off for home.


End file.
